Classic Quotes Updated

Gone with the Wind (1939)

Gone with the Wind [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”

Clark Gable would now have no time for subtleties. A 50 year old man knows what he wants and kissing is just a little step along the way. This is 2013, after all.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

ET [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “E.T. phone home.”

Who uses phones anymore? Even text messages are outdated. Plus, you’re a big boy now. Tell your mother you’ll be home late. You’ll get there when you get there.

Forrest Gump (1994)

Forrest Gump [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “Mama always said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Working moms have less and less time to spend with their kids. Forrest was lucky. Today he’d probably have to get by with a lot less support from his mother. Maybe he’d move in with E.T. and both would be all right.

Bonnie and Clyde (1967)     

Bonnie and Clyde [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “We rob banks.”

In the beginning of the 30’s Bonnie and Clyde were two low-life criminals who got a hold of a few guns. Today, they’d be so worried paying the interest of the interest of the loan they made to pay for their guns, they’d have no time to use them.

Gone with the Wind (1939)

Gone with the Wind [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Who says damn anymore?

Now, Voyager (1942)

Now, Voyager [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “Oh, Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars.”

They can put a man on the moon, but they can’t… That expression is soon to be replaced with “They can put a robot on Mars, but they can’t…”

Casablanca (1942)

Casablanca [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

It’s safe to assume that gin joints have died out over the past 60 years. Rick would have struggled to keep his open, eventually selling out to a franchise.

Dead Poets Society (1989)

Dead Poet Society [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

Carpe Diem is Latin. Why spend any time learning Latin if You Only Live Once?

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Good Morning Vietnam [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “Goooood morning, Vietnam!”

DJ Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams) introduced his radio show with the name of the invaded country. His introduction would have to be a lot more extended now.

Lethal Weapon (1987)

Lethal Weapon [Click for more] updated classic movie quotes

Original: “I’m too old for this shit.”

Danny Glover was 41 years old when he became famous for saying he was too old to be in the force. Hugh Jackman is 44 and rocking a tight leather costume in Wolverine, Robert Downey Junior is four years older and his Iron-Man doesn’t shy away from comparisons with young Thor or Captain America. Danny Glover is now 67. Maybe, but just maybe, you’re now getting too old for this shit.

see also:

HBO’S Girls vs Game of Thrones: Why Bad sex is better

Cat’s Eye (1985)

Why I’ll Never Love a Book More Than Harry Potter

 

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About Azevedo

Singular person (ex-child), slightly knowledgeable about movies, books and humour, who lacks the ability to finish what he...

Posted on August 31, 2013, in CLASSICS, MOVIES, QUOTES, Top Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. This gave me a good laugh, good job!😀

  2. I’m glad I’ve seen all those movies and I’m sure I would enjoy to see these updated remakes! My favorite updates are the Gone with the wind and Now Voyager ones. Casablanca and the Bonnie and Clyde updates come in third place ha ha ha Great post!🙂

  3. Great post, great updates. Nice!

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